Hater? Or jealous?

I think I’m a hater. But really only toward 1 person in particular. L. Or I’m jealous. I can’t figure out which it is. L doesn’t seem to care whether or not they get a full day of work in. This bothers me because my full day means a full paycheck. Which in turn means bills are paid and I’m free of debt. This doesn’t bother them at all. One would think someone in debt would manage their money a little better, but not L. L buys all sorts of clothes at ridiculous prices. “Hip/cool” clothes. Limited editions, etc. Often times the clothes makes them look kinda like a douchebag, and at times, they spew the personality to go with it.

This particular style I often see worn by people who are movers and shakers and have something big and cool going on. They’re leading the way at one thing or another. L is not one of them, but L┬átries to look the part. You’re almost 40, and have nothing going on. You don’t look the part because you’re not actually playing the part. I guess ‘poser’ is the term to use.

Going back to the full day of work thing, I have to remind myself that L’s family has money. That’s why L isn’t worried about money. They have their parents’ money to fall back on.

Maybe that’s why I hate/I’m jealous, my family never had money. I had to work for everything I had. I didn’t have someone pay for me to go to college, or buy me every car I’ve ever had. My job supplies me with the life I have, not my parents.

I guess they also kinda throw it around that money isn’t a big deal to them, even though it’s not their money. That’s another thing I don’t like. It’s got ‘privileged’ written all over it.

They’re my friend, and there are times when they just look ridiculous. It’s almost embarrassing to go out with them sometimes.

I need to learn to let it go. It doesn’t effect me, so I shouldn’t judge.